It comes at night

I've watched so many good horror movies like the ring and the conjuring that i've become numb to anything other than elite horror movies.

it comes at night definitely does not qualify as an elite horror movie. but i got serious creeps from it, even a day later. same effects as i had from the ring (closet scene).

first, the jump scares and costume/makeup were extremely well done. but that's not enough. the build up and suspense throughout the whole show was excellent.

but the plot was lacking. or was it?

I have come to realize the true meaning of the movie, and realizing it really brought the horror to my spine.

Spoilers ahead:

Travis was infected from the start. His "nightmares" throughout the movie were a combination of 3 possibilities, and we never know for sure which are which, although we can speculate.

1) just plain nightmares. the one where kim puked into his mouth would be this.
2) memories of the past: discovering his grandpa was infected. This also gives credit to the idea that Travis was infected from the start. He could easily have caught it from discovering his grandpa, or from Stanley who was his grandpa's dog, and who acted strangely throughout the movie (lethargy, barking at weird stuff)
3) sleepwalking: Final nightmare where he goes out and finds Stanley being ravaged. He is most likely the one who opened the red door and passes the infection to the little boy, if the little boy is infected at all. Will telling Kim to cover the little boy's eyes could easily be not wanting him to see his own dad in an act of violence. However, Will saying at the end: We just want what's fair (food and water), enough for the both of us) is quite telling. The little boy could just be normal sick, and everyone thinks its the infection.

the fact that it takes 1 day to show the symptoms could be for the final stage (showing skin lesions etc). Travis could have been infected all along, and only went into the final stage at the end.
another possibility could be that "it" comes at night was referring to the sickness, and Travis wasn't in the final stage or showing symptoms because he couldnt sleep. Only at the end where we see his mom telling him to relax does he really sleep for the first time which brought on the symptoms.

Public enemy number 1

Ill always be public enemy number 1. I am a natural villain.
Nobody will truly help me from the bottom of their heart.
I will never win any popularity contests. Normal people won't like me.
Some people truly like me, but they are few in number and definitely have a unique taste.

All my life i've felt this.
its just how i am.
My natural demeanour, which i am not going to change as it gives me my edge, my competitiveness and my drive.)
Some people are the same but they still get supported because of the underdog concept. Its like lebron james vs terry rozier one on one. it just smells unfair.
I'll never be an underdog. unless i somehow get the chance to go against steph one on one in bball. or chess match against whoever is the best in the world. all very specific situations.

in life, i'll never be an underdog. i will never get treated that way. I will never receive the love and support that underdogs receive.

I was sad about it before, but i see the light now.

afterall, whats the alternative?

There are 3 possibilities. 2 are extremes. One is 5% of the human population. Obnoxious lowlifes without any EQ whatsoever that get hated no matter what. Lets not consider that group.
the other is 1% of the human population. Mr/Mrs Perfect, and yet completely humble. True leaders. I'm not one of them.

The last 2 groups are the group that I am, and the group that i'm not. The 2 majority groups.
Out of every 3 people around you, 2 belong to the group i'm not, and the last belongs to the group I'm in.

The group I'm not has a chance to be popular and liked.

Who doesn't want to be popular and liked? i know i do. its not that people hate me. I feel respect from nearly everyone. I'm impressive and a leader in my own way, and I'm authentic. People respect me for that. But they dont love me. who doesn't want to be loved?

but i need to be something else.

i need to be a worthy opponent. someone strong who always tries their best at everything is the ultimate worthy opponent. this is something i more than want. its something i need.

I love that all through my life, people have wanted to beat me. its not that they hate me. some of them really like me. it is because there is real meaning in beating me.

I am the final boss. When you beat me, you get the ultimate reward.
You know you beat the best, at his best.

And the only way to do that, is to give your best.

I don't want anyone to give me chance. I hate that. I hate that more than losing fair and square. Its not even close. I would take losing fair and square 10 times out of 10.

Thats also why i dont give anyone chance aside from kids. I dont want to cheat them of the chance of beating me at my best. I don't want to waste their time.

The last thing i want is pity. I am the best and i know it. I don't need help. I'll take help if i can get it, but i dont need it.

No man is an island. But i am one.

And i am a tough-as-nails island. I will never sink.

NBA ALL STAR PREDICTIONS!

Lebron James has been chosen as the east captain, and he will get to pick first with the most votes. Stephen Curry is the west captain with 2nd most votes.

Pick 1: Lebron picks Kevin Durant (automatic choice)
Pick 2: Curry picks Giannis

Pick 3: Curry picks Anthony Davis
Pick 4: Lebron picks James Harden

Pick 5: Lebron picks Demarcus Cousins
Pick 6: Curry picks Joel Embiid

Pick 7: Curry picks Kyrie Irving
Pick 8: Lebron picks Demar Derozan

Next, reserves.
My predictions:
East reserves: Oladipo, Lowry, Porzingis, Drummond, Horford, Wall, Simmons
West reserves: Westbrook Butler KAT Draymond Klay Aldridge Jokic

Pick 9: Lebron picks Westbrook
Pick 10: Curry picks Draymond

Pick 11: Curry picks Klay
Pick 12: Lebron picks Butler

Pick 13: Lebron picks Porzingis
Pick 14: Curry picks KAT

Pick 15: Curry picks Oladipo
Pick 16: Lebron picks Lowry

Pick 17: Lebron picks Jokic
Pick 18: Curry picks Wall

Pick 19: Curry picks Simmons
Pick 20: Lebron picks Horford

Pick 21: Lebron picks Aldridge
Pick 22: Curry picks Drummond

Final list
Team Lebron:
Lebron KD Harden Cousins Derozan Westbrook Lowry Butler Porzingis Aldridge Jokic Horford
Team Curry:
Curry Giannis AD Embiid Irving Wall Oladipo Klay Draymond Simmons Drummond KAT

I have trust issues

It's not an uncommon thing but this can be toxic to a relationship. 
When you really love someone there is an underlying fear of losing them and one of the worse types of losing them, is losing them to someone else. First ask yourself why you feel this way? 
Often it is fear driving it with no proof beyond imaged proof. 
Avoid the trap of imagining hypothetical scenarios based on non-existent proof and trying talking to your partner. 
Explain to them that you realise these feelings are based only on emotional fears and you are not accusing them of anything. Talking and finding ways to move past this together can make your relationship stronger. 
My own partner took this approach with me and we walked about every little thing that triggered these thoughts. 
This allowed me to look at the situation from her perspective and I could see that sometimes my behaviour would indeed be worrying to her and I was able to correct myself. This greatly strengthened our relationship. 
Again, it is important to assure them that you are not accusing them though, as this can lead to defensive behaviour which is not a good situation for a discussion and to work through things.


(forgot which website i plucked this from)

You know you have grown up

You know you have grown up when you can do this

I replaced the word "act" with behave because i don't like what "acting" insinuates, that what you are doing isn't true. 

I heard the best piece of relationship advice a few weeks ago, while comforting a friend who was thinking about leaving her husband. She had recently made some very drastic lifestyle changes — ones she wasn’t sure her marriage would survive — when our mutual friend Sue* shared something she’d heard years ago.

It came after we both watched our friend fall to pieces right before us.

“I just don’t know if I can stay married to him,” she said, while reaching over to grab a tissue from the box beside her. “He’s not the person I thought I married.”

It wasn’t the first time she’d expressed the desire to leave her husband. She’d been contemplating divorce for months.

But that’s when Sue scooted her chair closer and leaned in.

“Do you know what I was told when I was going through a similar situation?” she said. “I was told that if I’m going to leave, I need to pack my shit and go. And if I’m not going to leave, I need to behave as if I’m all in, regardless of whether I like him in the moment or not.”

It was a harsh truth to face — one that I’m not so sure my friend appreciated hearing. But I’ve kept that piece of advice close ever since. I have no intention of leaving my husband; I never have. But I do go through periods where I’m not happy in my marriage. My husband isn’t always the person I think he should be. He doesn’t always treat me how I think I deserve to be treated. (He is human, after all.)

When I left my friends that night, I asked myself, What if on days when I don’t feel like I love my husband, I behave as if I do? What if those times when I don’t want to be married — when the title of “wife” makes me cringe — I behave as if I’m all in?

Therein lies another question, of course: What does it mean to behave as if I’m all in?

With my husband, it means loving him unconditionally, even when I don’t feel like I’m “in love.” It means trusting him and our relationship, even when he gives me reason to doubt. It means setting aside anger and resentment, regardless of how deeply I’ve been hurt. It means thinking about his needs and meeting them, even if mine haven’t yet been met. It means showing love through my thoughts, words, and actions always, especially on days where my heart and my head aren’t quite in it.

There are plenty of those days, where my heart and my head are telling me to run. Days when I’d rather be bitter or angry instead of compassionate and understanding. Days when my needs feel so much more important than his. Days when I question everything. It’s not realistic to think I’m always going to be happy in my marriage or that I will always get fluttery feelings when my husband is around. But on those days, when I’m just not feeling it, I need to behave as if. Behave  as if I am happy. Behave  as if I am in love.

It sounds so easy to do, but I assure you, it’s not. It’s uncomfortable. It’s unfamiliar. I spent a lifetime behaving according to my feelings and it takes time to re-program my brain. I’m used to behaving out of anger and fear. I’m used to running or fighting when my emotional security feels threatened. But my marriage, my family, suffers the consequences. I suffer the consequences.

So instead, I now behave as if I’m happy and in love always, even when I’m not there 100% — because believe it or not, that little change in thinking affords me the opportunity to actually be happy. To feel the love when it comes around, which it always does. The love always returns if I’m patient enough to wait for it.

The “behave as if” principle works in every area of my life, not just with my marriage. It works for parenting too. There are plenty of days when I don’t feel like being a mom. Days when I want to lock myself in my bedroom and drown out the chaos and noise. But days when I don’t feel like being a mom, I behave as if. I show up anyways. And my kids inevitably do something that reminds me why I love being a mom.

On days when I don’t feel like being an adult, and when responsibilities feel overwhelming, I behave as if I’m an adult. I go about my day and tackle my to-do list anyways.

Or days when I don’t want to show up for work, when what I’m doing feels insignificant and mundane, I behave as if my job is important. I behave as if I love my job and my work is valuable, because most of the time I do — and it is.

Today, I behave my way into feeling, instead of feeling my way into behaving. I show up when I don’t want to show up. I cook dinner for my children when the sight of my kitchen repulses me. I kiss my husband and tell him I love him even when I feel like he owes me the world’s biggest apology. I stay when I want to go, I behave as if I’m all in.

Because I am.

I’m all in …

My marriage.

My parenting.

My life.

https://www.babble.com/relationships/the-best-relationship-advice-i-ever-got-about-marriage/

its obvious which is better

someone who was lucky enough to be born exactly the style i like

or someone who loves me enough to try to become the style i like?

its obvious which is better

for 1 minute, i felt like curry

For one glorious full minute, i felt like stephen curry.

All my practice paid off.

Ive been practicing so hard, but my shot was stuck in limbo. from the free throw line, between the ft line and the 3 point line, the 3 point line. I was taking all these shots but not improving.

today it exploded.

i went down in slippers and normal clothing. my eyes were tired, so i needed to rest. i wasn't shooting properly at all. then i decided to take one step out of my normal range at the ft line. usually that would result in my percentage plummeting to the pits.

today it didn't plummet. it was going in.

i took yet another step out to nearly the 3 point line. it still felt good. it felt easy. my form was still steady despite the further distance (normally it would change).

I started messing around and taking 3 point shots from everywhere. usually i would only take shots from straight in front of the basket, in a direct line. this time i took from the right, the left, even the corners.

the 3s were going in. i wasn't sure how many, but at one point it had to be 40+%

and for 1 glorious minute, i scored 6-7 three point shots in a row.

i only started counting after the 3-4th shot, but it was at least 6 in a row, maybe 7. the 4th shot was a total miss, but my form was good, and it bounced on the rim in a lucky manner, rolled around and dropped in. i was on fire, and the 5th and 6th were complete swishes, nothing but the net. the 7th shot was good also, it felt great, but it missed unfortunately.

the main thing is 3 point shots were FEELING GOOD

the feel was completely there

i have hope

i can develop a 3 point shot

i know it for sure now

i felt it just now already

i know the feeling