so this is how it feels

to have your heart ripped out

i'm shaking

its not anger though. my neck is cool. whenevr i get angry my neck becomes red its a major telltale sign.

what am i shaking from?

i have no idea

oh? i guess this is considered crying afterall. but just one single tear. i didnt notice it until it rolled down.

but i have no regrets

whenever i do something i always go 100% without holding back. if you go all in theres always a risk of losing big. i lost big this time. but as long as i keep going all in i will always win big. and i always win.

i always win

alot of words can be used to describe me. negative ones. arrogant. self centred. but loser is not one of them. i am a winner. i exude it like an aura. my team always wins. its not even a probability thing.

but i lost this time

i completely lost

i know that i lost because i haven't felt this feeling in 6 years. ever since i changed. i have always won. winning was natural to me. i won at every single thing. winning was breathing to me.

i feel it now

its horrible

it pains the heart indescribably




...


...


...


but this isn't the end.

in my life, this is but part of the passage.

I will win next time.

if its in romance, because of my style, there will be two winners.

if its in career, i will win, and everyone on my team will win with me

if its in life,

...

i will win. i always win.

everything else in my life can fall into ruin, and crash & burn,

but one thing stays the same.

one thing is always a constant. it never changes.

the law of life.

i always win.