Ichimaru Gin's journal
I spent my entire life doing evil deeds. Killing innocent people. Torturing them. I hate myself more with every horrible thing i do. Is there another way around it? I can't see one at the moment and i'll just have to keep trying ta gain aizen's trust. Surely sooner or later he'll tell me his shikai's weakness. As it is, there is nobody in gotei 13 who can stop him aside from me. I have to keep trying...
...
Today aizen finished off hiraku taichou. As we advanced upon them, with hirako prostrate on the ground, i cringed. I don't think aizen saw it thou, he was too interested in watching the effects of hollowfication on captain level shinigami. But it hurt. It hurt to stand there and watch my captain die. I know hirako taichou and aizen were never close, but i never had a family or anyone i was close to aside from rangiku. Growing up with hirako and aizen, eating dinner together, it made me feel like i had a family. I dunno if i can take much more of this...
...
It has finally happened. After 68 long years aizen has revealed the weakness of his shikai to me. I'm the only person in all of soul society who will be able to stop this monster. I must find an opportunity. And fast. I can slowly feel my soul slipping away with all the horrendous things i've witnessed. I tell aizen that i'm a snake, that i have no heart and no soul and no feelings, but everyone has those stuff. But i fear that soon i will lose them... I might lose my sanity... But there's no turning back for me. I have to press on.. and finish what i decided to start...
...
The day has finally arrived. Aizen is attacking the gotei 13 head on. I won't attack unless he forces me to. I have to watch. I have to wait for a chance, a chance to finish him off once and for all. and if i fail, my only regret is that i never got a chance to apologise to rangiku. my only regret is that i made this decision to leave her. I pray that i succeed in ending aizen's life. 120 years of hiding in the shadows for this moment. And then I'll finally be able to live... with rangiku... soul society won't believe what i was trying to do, not that i care anyways. I guess a small part of me still blames them partially for letting aizen do as he did. I'm truly alone on this. The only thing keeping me going is the memory of rangiku's face...
...
A life time of undercover work. Doing things that kill me inside a little each time.
AND I ONLY GET ONE MEASLY EPISODE DEPICTING MY BACKSTORY?
No comments:
Post a Comment