I'm Ethan Hawke in this scene. He argues so much like me its uncanny. I literally hear myself talking. And getting frustrated with this woman who can't have a reasonable discussion to save her life. And knowing I can't walk away because we already have kids.
Women are never like this before kids. Well, some are, and i thank them for that. At least those are honest and don't try to disguise themselves. But 90% of them turn into this after having kids because they know they're in the safehouse now.
I can only wait and hope I find the 10%. The sarcasm that Ethan threw is the only part i don't use, but the 90% would throw that in my face even though I have never done it to them once. I can't handle sarcastic chicks who can't have a civilized discussion about a sticky issue. Or passive aggressive ones that just go into silent mode, who are just as bad.
But I'm not idealistic. I know that there is a good chance I will end up with a chick like this. That's life. I don't want to spend my energies hoping for an angel descending upon me. If it happens, i would be euphoric for the rest of my life. But like i always say, hope for the best and prepare for the worst. The good thing is that unlike most guys, I learn from every past relationship, or even pseudo relationships that are usually so much more in qty, but are too casual for people to take seriously and learn from. Not me, I learn from every single experience. So if i see my angel, i will identify her immediately. I already know exactly what I want.
Either way, I'm not going to throw myself into that crap before I've enjoyed myself for a good 10 years AT LEAST. I need to live for at least that much. I pissed away my life until 21, and I worked my butt off for the next decade. Surely i deserve a decade of pure happiness, like what I experienced for one single season while I was on exchange. I'll then spend the next 60-70 years being a perfect father and husband like I know I will be.
But not before i'm 35. No way. Hopefully I can last until 40 and enjoy another 5 years, but we know the insane societal pressures of being asian. I just need to not do something stupid. My problem is I fall in love too hard.
Remember to watch this movie next time I do.
The fact remains that this is actually how 90% of how females act after having kids. Maybe the author of this article is in the 10%, i dunno and it doesn’t matter. Is it unrealistic how Jesse is pulling all his punches and Celine is hitting every spot she can find? Nope. Because the one time Jesse takes one proper shot, Celine leaves the room. And this is actually very common behaviour for women (and some chickenshit men as well) in arguments. They can dish it out but they can’t take it.
This is actually a fact of life, and the only silver lining is that it only happens after kids. 90% of women are perfectly reasonable before kids, but after kids, knowing they are in the “safe house”, they transform into Celine. The other 10%? They are already like that before kids. And I respect them for it. I believe the author of this article belongs to the 10% as well. They don’t hide who they actually are, they actually have the courage to show their true colors. Which is good, because they don’t waste anybody’s time, and when both partners are in their 40s and have kids they don’t feel miserable. But for the 90%, just know that you enjoyed the part before kids, it was heaven. So deal with the nightmare that your wife turns into after you have kids.
In the end, you have to feel for women. The fact remains that society perceives the value of women by their looks. Maybe you are one of the few guys that aren’t superficial and actually care about a woman’s career etc. Or maybe you are one of the few lucky girls who found one of those few guys. That doesn’t matter. That’s not how the average man acts. That’s not how society acts. There’s a reason why every woman throws the superficial argument in a man’s face, ala Celine’s “would you still pick me up if you saw me in the train now”. No, no sane man would pick up a 40+ year old plumpish woman, unless he was a real desperado or had a strange kink. And the same thing goes for men. Society perceives the value of men by their networth. Women look for men that are reliable and can support the family. That’s just how society works. Its how life works.If a guy isn't bringing in the dough, he's useless. If a guy isn't bringing in serious dough, he's nothing special. That's life.
Now here comes the real kicker, which is also why i sympathize with feminists, as this is their biggest fear and yet it is real and happening in society. (This does not mean i agree with their arguments, i just sympathize with them.) Appearance and looks will go down over time. Its unavoidable. You can’t beat father time. Yes, women like Kate Beckinsale, Jennifer Aniston still look amazing in their 40s. But that doesn’t mean anything. It just means that they were even hotter in their 20s. They still degenerated over time. And since society perceives the value of women by their looks, their value is decreasing over time. But get this, unless the man is a real bum and a gambler or something (in which case he deserves to decrease in value over time), it is nearly guaranteed that his networth should increase as he ages. This means that one partner is decreasing in value while the other is increasing. Even if the man does not care, the woman will always be very aware of this. Leading to insecurities and thus lashing out at her partner ala Celine. Is this fair? I believe so. Its a give and take. If guys do not work their butt off, they become useless. But many girls are already born with good looks. As are some guys who are born into money. That's life. Its unfair and fair at the same time.
Do I sound like i hate women? Hell no i don't. I hate bitches. Many of my closest friends are women. I'm surrounded by amazing, strong women, who i respect and love. But I am very aware of what I look for in a partner. And that is completely different from what I look for in a friend, male or female. Also, in past relationships I have always been incredibly loving, much more loving than the average man, judging from some of my closest friends. #Trackrecord. However, that is because I am much more in tune of what I want, which means I am completely willing to give everything I have when I feel it is right. However, I will never be with a feminist, or any woman with feminist thoughts. Why in the world would I ever want to subject either of us to that? Quarrels and disagreements that are neverending? The sad thing is that I have friends who have the same viewpoint as me, but aren't courageous enough to admit it. I feel bad for the desperados who can't score a date to save their lives, but there are some who have no reason being miserable with a feminist just because they can't admit that all they want is a wife that can take care of their children and family well enough, and support them fully and lovingly. Nurturing them, as Celine puts it in the movie. They spend their entire lives being miserable, and dooming their partner to the same misery as well because they do not have the courage to admit this fact. As they try to secretly convert their partner into a submissive housewife, and obviously failing (good luck trying to convert any female with feminist thoughts into a submissive housewife. That's just stupid.), and feeling frustrated, the partner also gets frustrated from the (very real) feeling that their partner is always trying to "change them", making them constantly feel like they aren't good enough.If you feel it, its probably cos its true. You aren't dumb. The worst thing a guy can be is a chickenshit. Don't be that. Even dog shit is better than chickenshit. Dog shit can be used as fertilizer. Chickenshit is just some crap on the sidewalk. staying together because you've been together for 10 years? I'll rather split up and look for someone that i actually want to spend the next 70 years with. But then, i wouldn't even be with her for a year if i felt that way.
做人要拿得起放得下
(real man can pick up, also can let go)
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