As for the remarks, my friends think the teacher was being mean. But i think she was being nice to me already. If she said the truth, it should have been: Zhikai has not put in any effort at all, and has no discipline whatsoever. The only time he is awake in class is when he is talking to other people and distracting them. And he needs to spend time on his work. Not more time, just time. Because it is obvious to me that currently that time is 0.
Thats what the teacher should have said.
Most people call it the most important time in your life.
Well, i jacked up the most important time in my life.
The worst anyone could ever mess up in their life. The only thing i stopped short of doing were drugs, which was highly unlikely in Singapore anyway.
Gambling problems. Frequented illegal dens at the age of 17.
With swings of hundreds every session, even if i wanted to at the time, it was highly unlikely for a student; impossible even, to think about anything else as that amount feels so significant at that age.
Computer game addictions. I never really curbed that demon until last year. In the span of a month after the game was released, i became one of the top 10 players in Diablo 3 in Singapore. Maybe even higher, i dunno. But I made a decision to sell my account; and it was surprisingly easy. Maybe its what they call: when you conquer Everest, you don't feel the need to climb anymore. Afterall, you already know the feeling.
My next Everest is Gold. Richness beyond belief.
It became uphill from then on.
Ever since the start of university, i've been working harder than i ever thought possible. I fell sick thrice in the span of 1.5 months in my first semester (special sem). Twice in my second semester (normal sem 1), and twice again in my 3rd (normal sem 2). For someone who was as healthy and fit as me, this showed how much i suffered. I had no knowledge, no basics. I didnt know how to differentiate and integrate, and i was in engineering.
I worked every hour of every day.
Then it happened. The uphill moment after summer of year 1.
Year 2 sem 1 was ridiculously easy. It was the first time i enjoyed every moment. I actually enjoyed school, and studying. It was a different feeling, one i had never experienced in my life before.
I had arrived. But the bankai wasn't achieved yet.
Year 2 sem 2 arrived. I distinctly remember the feeling i had during the final exams. I even remember blogging about it then, it was so refreshing. Everyone was foaming, hoping for the end of the exams to arrive. I remember that feeling clearly; the last time i felt it was but a year ago. I empathized. But not too much, as I was curious about this new feeling that overcame me.
I didnt want the end of the exams to arrive. It wasn't that i wasn't ready. I was more ready than i had ever been, as reflected by my grades. Somehow i just enjoyed that feeling of fueling my brain with knowledge; that adrenaline rush from solving a particular problem, of deciphering a complicated theory.
I was drunk on knowledge and information.
The end of the exams came either way, like it or not. And i achieved the ultimate accomplishment in a single semester in university.
I didn't walk the right path in life, with many twists and turns. I failed half my subjects in secondary school, and nearly got retained a year. I messed up my junior college so bad i don't even know where to begin.
But as long as the heart is willin', nothing is impossible.
I didn't walk the straight and narrow path. But I found the path that will lead me to the summit now.
One day I will stand on the top of the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment